You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
