I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
