girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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