The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
