Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
