what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
