i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize