we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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