A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
