fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
