it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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