I bet he comes in French.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize