I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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