i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
