I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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