theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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