I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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