you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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