ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
