i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He better not be in your backpack
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
