I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
