Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
