i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
