He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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