Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
