I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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