I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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