I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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