i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
