walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
