Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
