All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
