therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
