We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
