I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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