No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
