Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
