with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
