Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
