I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
