I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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