So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
