I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
