So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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