I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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