College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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