so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
