i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My vagina is officially offended.
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