She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
