was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What drink are we having for lunch?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
