Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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