We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
