yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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