why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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