I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
