Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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