Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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