Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
