bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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