they need to just BURY HIM!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
