If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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