who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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