Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
