Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
