His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
