It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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