I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
