It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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