I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
