oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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