escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
